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The Benefits of Intentional Communication

What if we were as intentional about the words we spoke as we are about the coffee we buy?

Have you taken inventory of all the things you are intentional about? Here are some intentional choices I made recently:

  • Procuring more race conscious books for my daughter

  • Replacing plastic storage containers with glass

  • Non-toxic feminine products

  • Minimizing my screen time

  • Prioritizing family playtime

  • Buying coffee from local establishments vs. chains

I was intentional about supporting my desire to breastfeed -

here’s my 4th visit with my amazing lactation consultant

We are intentional about our choices because they represent something we value: Equity & inclusion. Environmental Sustainability. Physical health. Sleep. Connection with family. But are we intentional about our communication?

What about the words I speak? Initially, I did not add these to my intentional list. Which is surprising, because various sources say that we speak anywhere from 7,000-20,000 words/day. Wow, that’s a sh*t pile of words! This means communication represents THOUSANDS of opportunities to bring us closer to what we value. Words and how we say them can bring us to the internal experience we desire and the external goal we aspire to achieve. Or it can have the opposite effect taking us further from our goals and desires.

Words Matter. And yet, we don’t think of communication as a tool for us to effectively fulfill our needs, and connect with others. In fact, for most of us, communication is… challenging (in the speaking or listening role, or both), at best.

Maybe we dwell over a conversation after, unpacking it with our friend, deciphering what the other person meant, and what we should do about it. Maybe we strategize about what to say and how to say it, with the desire for it to be easily received or to elicit the response we desire.

Underneath all of this flailing, frustration, and exertion is a universal, earnest desire to be understood and to understand others. It is fundamental to our human experience.

So, why don’t we JUST LEARN how to communicate better? Well, there are at least three significant reasons.

First, let’s be real, learning communication carries some stigma. In our culture, we value the outspoken, the articulate, the inspiring communicator - against that backdrop, who wants to admit they could use some help being understood, and understanding others?

Second, to the extent communication is taught, it is taught in a remedial context - to address a speech impediment, fear of public speaking, or for someone who violates workplace language policies, etc.

Third, to the extent communication IS taught, these efforts come up short because they primarily treat communication as a cognitive process, when it is a multi-dimensional process involving our emotional experience, physical processes, neural patterning, values & beliefs.

What if communication could actually ADD POSITIVE VALUE to our lives? What if we were as intentional about the words we spoke as… where we bought our lattes?

I’ll tell you. Communication CAN BE: effective, easeful, AND rewarding. I know this because – I know from experience. I have been on my own personal development journey of which communication has been a MASSIVE part – the link between my inner experience, and what I externally aspire to. More on my personal journey with communication, in my next blog post.

I can also tell you that communication education has been a driving force for the services I offer. It’s been the centerpiece for acknowledging a deeper connection between work, community and leading from a place of fullness. It’s the same driving force that asked me to bring Messy Madrecita to the world. So I can show all the versions of my authentic self.

I share all the tools I developed in my personal communication journey in Wake the Talk Up! We have another cohort starting October 27th 2021. Check out details at

AND offer custom courses for your team and organizations. Feel free to contact me for more info


Interested in more topics related to conscious intention? Read my other posts - Introducing Messy Madrecita:



Hi, thanks for being here!

Messy Madrecita began as my own therapy, my own Happy Place. My journey to finding the most authentic expression of myself is one we can all relate to, and I hope Messy Madrecita can be a place for you to explore your human experience, too

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