From Motherhood to Entrepreneur: How I Embraced All Parts of My Identity
When a mother has a child, two beings are born - a baby and a new mother.
Back at work, 13 weeks postpartum… and not yet ready to be more than 1 inch away from Naya.
For me, becoming a mother was the biggest identity shift I have ever experienced. What I cared about, how I chose to spend my time and resources, what I valued about myself, and what I valued about the human experience changed profoundly, rapidly, and permanently.
Becoming a mother is a potent, alchemical mix of energetic, spiritual, emotional, and biochemical experiences, all ushering in the emergence of a new identity. This identity continues to unfurl in time like a seed sprouting and growing into a beautiful flower.
For me, one of the most remarkable, unexpected changes was a newfound capacity to feel with such vibrancy, diversity, and intensity. In my first postpartum weeks, I wrote in my journal, "it's as if for my whole life, I've only known generic cotton tee shirts. And now - there is silk, burlap, raw linen. The textures of human experience, the depth, and degree to which I feel it, are exploding. This depth of feeling - the richness that comes with it – is a superpower that we all have, that I am just beginning to wake up to."
I fell madly in love with my new mother identity – thanks not to the new characteristics of motherhood but to a new capacity for love that came with it. For the first time, I saw my power, capacities, grace, and vulnerability in technicolor. I loved the all-feeling, all-trusting, deeply in-my-body me. So much so that the pre-motherhood versions of me felt foreign, almost disembodied. I saw the Laurens who were results-oriented, prone to career success and fitness obsessions, who felt fear of failure more often than love and trust. These other past Lauren's seemed like jerks compared to the one who recently emerged.
What I didn't see was that these pre-motherhood Laurens aren't all assholes. They CARE deeply about the planet, about meaningful human connections. They are PASSIONATE about social impact business and creating organizations - experiences. And each one of them was doing the best that they could, with the information they had, informed by the experiences that life had offered so far.
5 months out, feeling inspired to revamp my home office (with ample cuddle breaks)
Fast forward to when Naya was ~1 year old, and old Lauren came roaring back. I was ready to go out in the world, create, and do – with the same fire and passion – but with more awareness of old unconscious patterns. With less fucks given and more sincerely interested in empowering others to look out for themselves. Old Lauren was never fully dismissed; she was incubating and ready for a reemergence, informed by the initiations of motherhood.
In hindsight, I now see this rejection and reemergence as an integration of our shadow and tender humanity. Evaluating the post-mother self as a more conscious, spiritually and emotionally evolved-self caused me to banish the lowly pre-mother Lauren, rejecting her human flaws and limitations.
And yet… in our humanness lies our most sublime qualities.
This experience has me set on a new theory about interpersonal growth and evolution. New fractals of the self emerge and step onto the stage of our identity. They take a moment to express themselves fully - and then fuse into the cosmos of our being.
My identity as a mother and in motherhood also shifted to a new stage. As Naya became more independent, I had more time to integrate my motherhood skills with my past Lauren interests. My natural passion for social impact reignited, especially concerning businesses. My previous years spent learning to be a better communicator in my family and personal life transformed how I engage with conscious leadership.
Quite at once, I realized NOT being all of myself all the time - including in my career - was holding me back. These experiences informed why I decided to start my own business.
The transition from the fractaling back into the coalescing was not earth-shattering or exciting - rather, they were quiet and part of my process. And during my process, I gave myself permission to not push and figure it all out but to let the answers come to me. Slowly but surely, each part of my identity came together.
In my new theory about interpersonal growth, I recognize that:
When each fractal can stand on its own, it receives our focus and attention
We draw in people and relationships who can most relate to it
We achieve our fullest capacity for impact
And yet, all fractals are a part of the whole. They all inform one another.
Madrecita Rising is a place for nourishing transformation and telling my story. But I've realized that there's more to me and more for me to offer. To better allow each part of me to serve more fully, I've begun a new venture in consulting where I use my skills as a communication expert to encourage new frameworks for the conscious business leader. LNP Consults is a bridge between human consciousness, social-impact businesses, and mission-led organizations. I've launched a new website where you can find all the tools for Empowering Conscious Leadership. Check out LNP Consults to learn more.
Madrecita Rising is my happy place – as it was originally intended. For now, a personal blog to explore the sublime in the every day. This space is for me to showcase motherhood as a spiritual journey. Express how parenthood learnings show up in other areas of life. And to empower all parts of my life. My goal remains the same, inspire others to get intimate with their Whole Selves. I'll still be writing here about my journey with motherhood and everything in between.
Thanks for being here, thanks for sharing your journey to wholeness with me.